This might be the reason for why I’ll succeed in life, or why I’ll fail miserably. Not quite sure yet which to choose. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but this is just me facing the truth.
The title is probably self-explanatory. I guess it is time for me to come out as not only an unmotivated enthusiast, but also someone who apparently does not know how to focus on one freaking hobby at a time.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not have ADHD and don’t want to sound like I’m mocking those who have it. But my brain does not make my life any simpler “y’all” (trying my best to sound trendy and relatable). Or maybe it lets me focus on one thing for long enough to make me feel sick over time. Either way, I have some explaining to do.
Blogging is not the first hobby I undertook due to boredom or as a challenge to push my boundaries and expand my horizons. It’s a great thing to do, sure, but that does not mean I actually succeed or stick to whatever I’m doing for (mostly) longer than a few months.
Before you go and unfollow, please listen to what I have to say.
You still there? Great. As you might have noticed, blogging is something new to me. And I love it, I really do. BUT WAIT, THERE’S A PLOT TWIST.
Just like everything else I love, I get obsessed with it to the point where I spend most of my waking hours on it. And I’m trying my best to not let that happen with blogging. Because this actually feels like something I can see myself doing for a very long period of time.
There are so many things I have tried in the past, and it’s scary to think I don’t do (almost) any of these anymore. What’s even more funny, is that once I reach a certain point where I’m contempt with “where I’m standing” in the certain hobby… I just kinda go “meh” and move on.I’m crazy, I know. But I hope you can relate. See, when I was about 8 years old I started taking piano lessons. Being creative and all, before I realised I was much better at sciences and maths. But that’s a whole another story. Anyway, I took piano lessons for about 3 or 4 years before I realised that I could continue learning by self-teaching myself different songs. This worked for about the next year before I finally learned how to play my at the time favourite song. Because then I stopped. Just… couldn’t be bothered to go on. I got where I wanted and that was about it. Why bother pushing myself even more? Sure, I fantasised about giving a concert to a huge group of people, but actually trying to do it? Haha, sure. I guess this links to the whole idea of an unmotivated enthusiast, doesn’t it?
But the list goes on. About a year ago I really got into photography, but I could never really improve my photo quality that much because I didn’t have a dedicated camera – just the one in my phone. So what did I do? I saved money for a semi-professional SLR. The beginning could be compared to a romance, where we would never be separated and I spent every minute with my beloved companion.
Sadly, just like most romances this, too, had an ending. After editing so many of those photos and posting them on Instagram almost every day, I kind of got sick of it to the point where I couldn’t even go near my camera (oh, how dramatic!). Despite my rather good following, I took a 3-month break to come back and post every once in a while. My pictures used to get hundreds of likes, and now it’s a party when I hit 100.
Yeah, sure, it’s all just a number, but it’s sad to see how I put effort into something only to then ruin it myself with the lack of motivation I so deeply need. Nothing better than your own self making it harder for you, eh?
You might be wondering where I’m going with this post. Is it going to turn into one of these inspiring stories which want you to continue what you’ve started? Kinda, but not really. See, besides piano and photography I also tried sports, creative writing, poetry and computing just to name a few. None of those really stuck with me, and I guess I’m kind of glad they didn’t.
If they did, you would probably never see this post. And even though I did spend so much time and effort on some of the things I’ve done in the past, there isn’t any regret in it. My views have expanded, and I’ve (hopefully) become a more open-minded person.
Being really good in one thing can be interesting, but I like trying new things. So even if I’ll never be a master of a trade, I sure as hell am going to be a jack of all of them. Because it’s all about finding what suits you best.