Unmotivated Enthusiast

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Picture from flickr.com

You might be thinking I am one of these people who try to be ‘cool’ and ‘different’ by labelling themselves and allowing that label to define them in a sense. But, oh boy, are you wrong.

The idea of an “unmotivated enthusiast” has been with me for as far as I can remember. I have never been called this exact name in my life, but these two words popped up during various stages in my life. Back in primary school I was probably the definition of a perfect student. My homework was always turned in, I had listened to my teachers, and never gotten myself into any sort of trouble. Halfway through middle school I started to lose my energy.  I still did my homework and absolutely loved some of my classes, but doing extra work to get a better grade, or staying after school for some extra-curricular classes simply didn’t seem like the thing I wanted to actually do.

It might sound like the typical pre-teen thing to say, but the difference with me was that I actually really liked the idea of some of these assignments. I sometimes went as far as planning some of them and… that was about it. It bothered me as I truly wanted to be productive and complete the essays and presentations I had to do, but I couldn’t. I know kids often don’t want to do their work and prefer to play, but I didn’t feel like doing either. I was truly excited to go to the cinema with my friends, but I couldn’t be bothered to actually get dressed and take the train to the city. Just the idea of it sounded fantastic. The process itself… not so much.

You might be thinking: “But doesn’t this sound like depression?” And you’re right, it kinda does. But despite the problems I had to face at school and at home, I was usually the goofy kid who always made others laugh. I did struggle with adapting to the new environment after my family and I moved to another country, but it was only a brief moment in my teenage life. Life’s awesome and there’s nothing I’d like to change. 

I am currently in high school, and have two more years before I graduate. My future seems to be planned – my dream is to become a plastic surgeon and work in a clinic somewhere in London. Just like most of the dreamers my wish is to apply to University of Oxford in about a year.

What I am trying to get across with my rambling, is that you are the only thing stopping you from achieving your dream. My nickname and the partial story I wrote about in the previous paragraphs is there to make you realise what the biggest on your path to success really is. I have everything I need in order to succeed – loving family, life in a 1st world country, and the privilege of going to a private school. Despite all these things, I still struggle to succeed. But that’s not because I’m “dumb”, but because a part of me simply refuses to cooperate. And even though it is just a lame excuse for most of you reading this, I really hope you realise the biggest demons are inside of us, and not around us.

Muse

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47 thoughts on “Unmotivated Enthusiast

  1. Great first post – if there is anything I can do to help let me know and I’m sure everything will work out for you. Perhaps a new approach to tasks or a new burst of motivation will help? Keep up the blogging – it’s great!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hello !!
    I just read this, and you know .. I understand.
    the thing i do most when im unmotivated is just listen to some hyper music and read motivational quotes . Cliché but it helps.
    Im pretty sure you’ll be able to achieve whatever you have in mind ☺️
    Keep up the good work !!
    Good luck, and if you ever need anything you can count me as an option.
    Take care!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Well, you planned a blog and then actually started it. Maybe this is truly “the first day of the rest of your life” or maybe you just need to find those things that you are not just enthusiastic, but truly passionate about!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. All the Best. 🙂
    Sometimes, it’s good to doubt ourselves. Failure is not the end and success is not an end too. All that truly matters as in a couple of years you’ll realise as you grow and age, is making a difference even if it is only in our own lives.
    May you get to fulfil your dreams and that you get everything you desire of and aspire for. Stay humble. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well your title does suit you exactly as you are motivated and at the same time part of you is holding you back. I am way over your age and have a lot of experiences in life and a survivor of depression and writing my experiences for others benefit. I am trying to think, what is it that holds you back from putting more work towards achieving your goals. I need time to think, my mind will work on it and might come up with an answer. I will then comment again. You have written well for the first post. Best of Luck with your blog and your studies 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is very well written. Great post and continue to share your journey. I was in your position at the same point in life and I really want to see how you continue to overcome.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great first post and best of luck – not that you need it, tho 🙂

    Your post spoke to me as I myself struggle/have struggled throughout my studies. I am now in a PhD programme, though sometimes the motivation is lacking – your wording of “unmotivated enthusiast” is dead on! We HAVE to look inside of us, thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I enjoyed your post very much! You have a great writing style, it was an interesting read. I am sure things will turn around for you, as far as motivation goes. I think a lot of kids feel that way, nearing the end of high school. I will be following to read more of your journey!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great post! I was the same way and my first blog post came on a whim and now I’m on this track to build it up and expand upon it. I think you’re making a great first step. I read an article recently that said that it’s important to focus on the process and not the end goal. It’s good to have a goal but if you forget the process it’s too easy to get lost in the abyss of the end goal. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. It’s okay. Just keep finding motivation to become a motivated enthusiastic even if for short time at first. Though not from a first world country, I still aim to be a doctor like you (but it’s not easy at all here in India, just google it).

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: Liebster Award | Unmotivated Enthusiast

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